People: Over the past 3 or so years, I have moved through a few best/really good friends. I have some amazing friends who left my school, and I have fallen out of touch with them. I miss them dearly, but with life being as crazy as it is, I never ever get to see them. It's like fate is pulling us apart, and I HATE that feeling. I have some best friends who changed and I have fallen out with them. I have best friends who I fought with who have moved on. Life is like an earthquake... it's moving, and every now and then the movement is violent and deadly.
Life: Every year when I go to the beach, I walk the beach at night and think. I don't know why I do this... I just think that it helps me wrap up the year. Yes, my years revolve around July. Mock me if you please. Life is always changing, and that can be a good thing. BUT, it can be a bad thing too. People you trust and rely on go away. People move in. People move out. You get into fights, or there are bad words, and then what do you have? I make goals of things to accomplish each year. For some reason, I never really get through the list. There are always things I need to do, but I can't ever get around to them. I want to make them happen, and I try to, but it just doesn't work.
I have also been thinking about the Europe trip I went on last summer. I can not believe that it has been a year since we were planning it, and almost a year since I went. It does not seem that way at all. I remember planning it, and discussing it, and looking forward to it. I remember becoming friends with the people going on the trip, and I remember getting on the plane, grins on our faces. I remember the trip, and I hope that the memory never fades. I want to get together with the group more, but for some reasons, our crazy schedules never seem to click. I plan stuff, but it snows, or people don't come, or what have you. It just feels sad, because I made some great friends on the trip, and I would LOVE to see them some more, you know? I miss them...
Music: Right now, I am listening to some music from the end of my 8th grade year. I remember the hope and optimism I felt about high school. Something new, something exciting. I couldn't wait. This is some great music by the way. That year was an amazing music year. I wish there was some killer music still there. I'm looking for it. I find it hilarious how music characterizes a period in ones life. I can remember where I listened to this, and how I felt about it, and I can still feel some of these feelings. Music is my beat. It's how I get through life. I love it, and I can't believe how much life has changed over these past few years, and how music has changed, and how some of my moods and feelings have changed as well. It's a crazy world that we live in...
Yes, I know that it isn't too healthy to look back on the past too much, but the present isn't as great as I thought it would be. Maybe it will get better. I either look ahead or look back. I am trying to appreciate the now, but it seems that it isn't so hot, and needs to get better. Tomorrow is a new day after all!
I encourage you to look back, ahead, and to the now. It is pretty therapeutic. While you're at it, listen to some old music for me. You'll appreciate it later!:)
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