Prom, Frustration, Venting.

Oh Prom... that annual tradition that can make any person not going, or not asked like a social miscreant. The thing that shows you the wants and the want-nots. The thing that shows you where you fall on the takeable pecking order. It's the best of times, and the worst of times.


This year, there has been more drama with my schools prom than I can remember. People fighting over who they are taking, where they are going, who someone else is going with, what group that they are going with... bla bla bla. It's getting kind of old.


I personally wanted to go. I still do. I have tons of senior friends that I want to spend some more time with, and prom is one of those things that you get to do once in your lifetime. I wanted to see and be seen. Yes, I do have that shallow vain side to me:). It kills me that these obnoxious immature freaks are going with perfectly decent people and I don't get to go. I asked my butt off. I went around to countless people and asked. I tried my hardest, but I guess I was not good enough to go. I asked some people who said they were going with friends, but then 3 weeks later, they are going with this other guy. Hmm... lies much? 


I probably have blogged on this already, so bite me. This subject has been driving me nuts for a while. I still can not wrap my head around why I am never good enough for anyone. I have tried for YEARS to be good enough, but I always fall short. I am never up to par. I am never what someone wants. I have tons of friends, but I have had one person in the past 5 years that has liked me for more than a friend. I don't really care about having a relationship right now, as they are a boatload of stress, and I don't really want to add on any stress right now. But I do want the market interested in me. I want some buyers to look at me. I am not some ghetto real estate in da hood. I am myers park. I am the peninsula. I am the harbor. I am the gated community. I am the million dollar penthouse. Can someone come look? Can someone show interest. I know that I have my whole life out in front of me, which is good. I am just tiring of people asking if there is anyone in my life. Not these is not. Sorry to disappoint. My younger brother gets more action than I do. Pathetic.. yes. I take satisfaction in some things that I will not mention, to avoid sounding self indulgent. But I will say this. I am sick and tired of every single person treating me like I am somewhat inferior because I have no girlfriend or prospects in sight. I am party to blame I guess. Who knows what my turnoff is. But I will also say this. My school is as small as a speck of dust. There is one group of people that dates. There is no one that is my type, whatever that is, at my school. It's just not a good fit. I guess its bad that I cant make it fit for now. 


When I do find someone that really catches my interest at my school, people will know. If someone ever shows interest in me, I will let people know, as that will me a very... momentous occasion. Until someone looks and likes, wipe the look of shock off of your freaking faces and cut me a little slack. Thanks.

The Next Adventure.

Over the past year and a half, there has always been a new adventure on the horizon. But, now there is nothing on the horizon. It feels weird, having nothing huge to look forward to. Sure there are the little things coming up, but nothing huge.


Life is made up of adventures big and small. There are the grand adventures, and the daily ones that last maybe 30 seconds. Each new friendship, each new trip, each new experience adds up to the big adventure. All of the smaller adventures add up to the big one.


I just got back from Spain yesterday, and during this trip, I had the chance to become friends with some deaf kids from California. They were really cool, and tought me a lot about sign language, and people in general. They make things work. They don't let one thing hold them back. I find that very admirable.

Right now, I am waiting for my next adventure. I have been home for 48 hours, and I am ready for the next big thing. I am a restless person, and like to be on the move. It's weird not having much to look forward to, and I am ready to be ready for something again. Until next time, and the next adventure.... here's waiting!