Struggling.

So, this year really has been a haul. It's been a series of unfortunate events. It's been rough. It's been challenging. But, this year has also been fantastic. This year has given me so many good memories. It's been the best of times, and the worst of times... like a freaking Dickens novel.


I know it has been a while since I have written. I'm pretty sure that no one reads this anyways. But, why would that stop me from writing? I make my own rules. So, I am still going to write and vent, and speak my mind.


Recently, it's been a rough haul. I have no one to really talk to about what's going on. Almost all of my best friends are too busy for me. My family... well... they're not the easiest people on the planet to talk to. They judge, they criticize. I know, family loves you. Still, it isn't always easy having every little move examined under a microscope. 


On the friends note: I don't get it. I don't understand how you could be too busy to nurture your friendship. I'm always busy, but I can still make time for my friends. I expect the same to be done for me. If i am always trying to renew our vows of friendship, and trying to see what's going on... MAKE AN EFFORT to spend time with ME. It really hurts how my friends pretty much do not care. It was one friend, and now it's multiple. I'm starting to wonder if I am just a toxic friend that no one wants to have around... not a pleasant thought. I would like to think that people somewhat care about me, but some days, I wonder.


Family: the worlds worst critics. Seriously. If I am talking to you about colleges, don't criticize every single one. I know they are expensive. Everything is. I don't know exactly what i want to do, but I DO want to get out of the South. GET ME OUT. You may LOVE it, but I really do not think that it's for me. Also, if I did not ask for your opinion on my colleges, shut your pie hole. I have enough stress already. I do not need to hear all of your commentary, and you telling me what to do with my life, and telling me what i do wrong. I am SICK and TIRED of it. Family is supposed to support you, not tear you down. Please just try to understand that I want a good college. None of you went. Don't hate on me because the world has changed.


Life: I am so excited to see what is to come. I seriously can not wait. But, I am also not ready to move on. I enjoy my life. I enjoy what I have now. I just want to know what the future holds. I want to have the best of both. I don't want to feel sad, angry, frustrated, nervous, anxious, or too enthralled with the future all of the time. I don't want to feel the aforementioned emotions for no reason. I want to just be happy.


That's all for now people. I will be back soon. Have a Happy Holiday Season! -Eric.