Venting Over the Past Few Months

So, on December 19th, my world changed forever. My grandad died, suddenly, in an accident. He was 63, and in the prime of his life. He was taking people to their cars from a party at his house. He hit a patch of ice, and hit his head after flipping his vehicle. Needless to say, that was one of the worst days of my life. My Opa, my hero, was DEAD. Just like that. Over the next few days, digging through pictures, and living through memories, having an 1800 person visitation, and a 1000+ person funeral, I saw what an impact my Opa had on the world. I knew he was important... duh. His last name would tell you that. But, seeing all of the people, the scope of the impact, just shocked me. It showed that one person really can make a difference. You always hear that they can't, but that's a load of crap. They can make a huge difference.

The months since have been very hard. There are the good days and the bad days. The days you feel like crap, and the ones that you are stunned. The ones you don't want to continue forward, but you have to. The days you cry when you get home. The days that you want to just be. My friends have on the most part helped me through this. I feel the love from them, on the most part, and it is just great. The prayers and support help tremendously.

One thing that has made it a little harder is that a teacher at my school, who was 25 was in a tragic accident about a mile down the road from the school one thursday morning. It was just over a month past my opa, and the event dug up fresh wounds. The scabs reopened. It led to another hard week, but not as hard. We made it through. The funeral was very solum, but it honored her life. This event was also around 2 years since the Herbert brothers, who went to my school, were killed in a car accident. This incident dug up memories from then too. Not the easiest thing in the word, needless to say.

Yesterday, February 12th would have been my Opa's 64th birthday. We celebrated as a family and remembered. We watched a few videos of his life, and remembered many good memories, but it was still a hard day. There were definitely tears shed, and hearts hurting. It is the first of many birthdays to come that will be sad. But, we have to try to move forward. You can not dwell on the past, and what could have been. What you could have done. That will tear you to shreds. What you do is pray, and ask God to help you through. Yes, that is a Sunday School answer, but it is the truth. God is bigger than any crap that can happen to you, and he will help you move through tragedy. You also need to let out emotions and vent. Which is why I have this blog. Not many, if any, people read this, but it is my way to vent. Writing and music help me deal. Negative emotions bottled up will rip you apart. Positivity is key. It can be hard, and is hard, but think of the good if possible. That is something my Oma told me, and it is very true. You can not dwell on negative things. It will make you miserable. Look on the good. You will be happier for it.

The remaining question, for now is... How will you deal with the curveballs that life throws at you, and who will you lean on, or what will you lean on? When something that is a major part of your life is taken away, what will you do? How will YOU react?